It is a dichotomy of emotions to be sad and to be happy at the same time but that is how I feel when I remember Ronnie Joyce. Ronnie, the eldest of the Joyce clan - Jack's only cousins and our special friends - passed away two years ago today. His diagnosis and passing were only about a week apart. He passed from a very rapid form of cancer.
Ronnie and his wife, Carol, e-mailed me almost every day during my initial lung cancer recovery. He always had a joke or something uplifting to tell me and to encourage me along my earlier journey. His untimely passing was a lesson that each day is precious and none of us know when our individual journeys will end.
In September 2006, the Joyce Clan and Jack and I attended a wedding in Nantucket. Ronnie, Carol, Bobby and Diane joined Jack and I on Friday night where we attended the rehearsal dinner for Michael and Caroline. Michael is Bobby and Diane's elder son. It was a damp night but the boys managed to find benches outside and enjoyed their cigars. Later on that evening, the six of us walked through the rain swept streets of Nantucket and found a little hole in the wall - literally - bar where we sat and enjoyed a nightcap and lots of love and laughter. Ronnie, who had arthritis in his knees, insisted on walking Jack and I back to our Inn as we were in the opposite direction as everyone else. It was just one of those magical nights that always linger in the memory.
Next day, we attended the beautiful wedding and enjoyed the reception - in spite of the downpour. After the reception, we all sat outside on the wide porch - the boyos smoking their cigars and enjoying their beer - the gals enjoying our own libations.
Ronnie was holding court and told Jack how much he loved Jack's parents and how he and his siblings looked forward to their arrival on those special weekends. He said they would listen for the car as Aunt Evelyn would always have some special cold cuts and cakes for the kids. Ronnie said his father (Evelyn's brother, Jimmy) would pour a shot of whiskey and put it in the bathroom and Uncle Johnny (Jack's father) would need to use the "facilities." Jack said that solved the mystery of how his father got so merry when his mother kept a really close eye on him! Ronnie continued with these stories which brought tears and laughter to Jack as he remembered back to those days with his parents and brother Hugh, now passed almost 19 years.
I asked Ronnie to make a point of telling these stories to Karen and Kate the next time we got together as they were very young when Evelyn passed and Johnny died even earlier, happy in the knowledge that Jack and I were expecting our first child.
Ronnie did not have the chance to tell these stories to my daughters as that weekend was the last time we saw him - following him to I-95 through some very small towns at a very slow pace! When we got on the highway, I rolled down the window and we waved good-bye and shouted some insults about his driving, I'm sure!
When I think of Ronnie, after all those years, suddenly telling those old stories, I can't help but wonder if on some level, our souls know that they will soon be making the journey back to their Maker?
I began this post by saying remembering Ronnie makes me sad and happy. Sad because I miss him even though I did not see him very often - and happy because so many memories of Jack's and my courting days, early marriage and struggles and joys through the years are tied up with all the Joyces but Ronnie and Carol always seemed at the forefront of family happenings.
Ronnie would be proud to know that we have all grown even closer as time has passed. We all carry him in our hearts.........and stories of Ronnie still bring life to the party!
Rest in peace, friend and cousin! Memories of you are alive and well and still bringing smiles to our faces - although sometimes with a catch in our throats.
As always, love from me to you!
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