Monday, Monday - gotta hate that day although maybe we should love each day in spite of its potential for disaster.
I had a delightful weekend with my family, including Agnes Rose who was adorable in her red and white polka dot blanket sleeper with a gingerbread girl on the breast and has now been nicknamed (by me) Gingie Girl which sort of goes with her gingery/honey blond hair. I thought her Mama would save this for Christmas Eve in Wisconsin but Mama feels she may outgrow it too quickly. (I think Mama was being sensitive and knew I wanted to see Gingie Girl in this snugly outfit and I appreciated the surprise.) While her Papa babysat Agnes, Grandpa, Aunt Kate, Mama and Nana set off to shop for a Christmas outfit for Gingie Girl. First we went to Lord & Taylors but they had very little choice so we rushed off to Macy's to catch their sale. Good thing Grandpa came along as he did his usual dazzling coupon dance and managed to purchase three outfits for almost $10 less than one of them cost orginally. Wow! this was a major coup and we were home in an hour! Macy's had the outfits marked anywhere from 30 to 70% off but Gingie Girl got a 100% discount thanks to Grandpa - this is a good way to shop.
It is hard to imagine that Thanksgiving is three days away and one thing I am really thankful for is that Joe, Karen and Kate will be help cook again this year. Yesterday, we were discussing various menus and as long as the stuffing remains the "traditional" one (that means the one I make) and the gravy remains the same (especially for Joan who loves this thickened pot of vegetable soup which contains some of the turkey drippings and chicken broth), and the turkey is big enough for all of us, Joe will be experimenting with a few new vegetable recipes. Mmmm! I can be the chief sampler - especially the special sweet potato dish he has in mind.
Now to my Monday morning........
I was relieved and happy all weekend to know that my slides were finally off to Sloan on FRIDAY as that is what I was assured when I called and that Sloan would have them today and hopefully I would have an answer sometime before the week's end. NO SUCH LUCK. This morning, G called from NSUH to ask for my credit card number again as they were GOING TO SEND THE SLIDES TODAY - MONDAY . Even though I was told they were mailed Friday, today I was told they were not mailed Friday because they did not want them to sit in the mailroom over the weekend. One would have to think that a mailroom in a hospital like Sloan Kettering would refrigerate or have a special way of handling this type of sitution. I have to admit I lost my cool and got very, very angry. I was so angry and tried very hard to control it, I have a pain in my chest and this happened an hour ago. G said that I ASKED FOR THE WRONG SLIDES the first time.....I just checked the letter I sent and I see that I did not specifically ask for pancreatic slides (since I am not a pathologist) but simply asked them to send slides of my recent EUS biopsy - therein was my mistake - thinking that since it was a PANCREATIC BIOPSY THAT PANCREATIC CELLS WOULD BE SENT. Obviously I was wrong - someone just suggested that I should have picked them up and delivered them myself but they could have given me slides of Pinocchio's nose and I would not have known the difference. WHAT IS WRONG WITH THIS PICTURE? Well, the one thing it has clarified for me is that if I have to have another biopsy done on my pancreas or on my lung or any other part of my voluptuous being, I will have it done at Sloan. I feel betrayed by a hospital that I have had a wonderful relationship with for almost 40 years - ever since my ankle was set there on my wedding day and it was still called Manhasset Hospital. Would I really have another biopsy there with a pathology department that is causing me such extended upset?
I've been trying to put a good face on this but truthfully, I am terrified. My initial PT scan was on October 3 - it is now November 24 - it will be 2 full months before I am diagnosed because weeks have been lost with these mistakes in mailing the correct slides. When you are dealing with pancreatic cancer - even though mine is in a "good" place and probably curable (at least in October when the first scan was taken), I have lost 2 months - TWO MONTHS of my life waiting for a decision on a disease that has the potential to kill you in six months. (I watch the commercials for the Lustgarten Foundation, too.) In this litigious society, my first inclination is to call my attorney and see if this incompetence can be addressed legally but I know once I cool down and know that the slides are where they should be - eventually - tomorrow, I hope, I won't do a damn thing because I am too tired and too worried and too sad.
Sorry to dump all this on you today but I am alone at the moment and instead of screaming and banging my head against the wall, I turn to my earthbound source of strength of courage. You.
Thanks for listening.
As always, love from me to you.
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