The Journey Continues

The news from my latest PET scan and the following CT scan was a bit discouraging. There is a 1.9 cm growth on the tail of my pancreas (good it is on the tail.) Oncologist is fairly certain it is malignant but I still have to go through biopsy on November 10. There are several 1 cm clusters on the "bad" lung where I had surgery. Could be malignancies but may be scar tissue (I'm holding out for the scar tissues.) The lung situation will be put on hold until there is a resolution on the pancreas.

I had a wonderful, Italian, full scale hysterical reaction to this news! It was worthy of one of the greatest operas - screaming, chest pounding, throwing towels over my head (I was folding wash at the same time) - nagging Jack to take me to buy a plot. Eventually, I calmed down and realized that this is not the Dark Ages of cancer treatment and if the Good Lord wanted me, He would have taken me when I was in His neighborhood two years ago. I haven't accomplished a lot since He sent me back so I guess there is more to do. Karen and Kate took it on the chin and will be my strength as usual. I feel upset to think about my darling Agnes Rose. Seeing that happy, smiling face gives me the courage to fight anything!

Jack is my rock even though sometimes I feel as though I am pushing him uphill! He is always right where I need him to be although he still has a hard time after 44 years dealing with the hysteria! You'd think after raising 2 daughters he'd be better equipped at this!

The good news, I guess, is that the pancreatic growth is not from the original lung cancer. Lung cancer does not go to the pancreas - it goes to the brain. Isn't that a happy thought? There is a SLIGHT possibility that it is only a cyst but none of us (including my oncologist and internist) really believe that although it does give me something positive to think about.

Virginia, Eileen, Marie, Pat and Janice, my lifelong pals and fellow Crones, are putting on their capes and standing by my side along with so many good, strong women who got me through the last time and they will get me through this time as well!

Incidentally - did you know there are 3 stages in the life of a strong Celtic woman - maiden, mother and crone? This is an ancient Irish belief. Therefore, do not think of Crone as anything but an older woman who has experienced life and is a font of wisdom. Highly respected and not an evil witch as we have learned to believe. So, I am proud to be a Crone and hope to live to be one for a long time!

On the bright side, I may get out of cooking Thanksgiving!

Buckle your seat belts, it may be a rough ride.

As always, love from me to you.