The Days of Wine and Roses

There are few people - if any - who would be somewhat relieved to see a rash develop on their body but when I awoke this morning - and the dreaded rash has appeared in various spots - my first reaction (besides "ow!") was Thank God, the medication is working! I think deep in my heart I felt if I had no side effects at all (for which most would be grateful) the stuff wasn't doing its job. Well, I can assure you it is on a roll today. I called MSK and am awaiting a call back. I am sure they will call a prescription in for a topical ointment which will relieve most of the discomfort. Meanwhile, I am getting more souls out of Purgatory!

You have no idea how much your e-mails and notes mean to me. In some ways, I feel really silly writing down all my hopes and fears and whatever else pops into my head. It did start off as a way to keep me busy and as a therapy to get my feelings out clearly as I do better with the written than the spoken word. (It is my mouth that gets me in trouble most often.) But, when you take the time to tell me how something moved you or made you laugh or that you are praying for me, it fills me with such happiness.

As the New Year was beginning, I was thinking some deep thoughts about life and death. I realized that it is not death that I fear - it is missing what would go on here without me!

One of the non-local high school Crones sent me the following poem. I had written to her that the theme of our high school prom was "Days of Wine and Roses" and I thought that was pretty shocking considering how strict the school was. I always thought it was chosen because the movie with Jack Lemmon and Lee Remmick was such a hit that year even though the subject was alcoholism. She said all she remembered from the prom was popcorn and grape juice. The poem touched me....although I still don't see it as a cheerful or romantic prom theme!

They are not long, the weeping and the laughter,

Love and desire and hate

I think they have no portion in us after

We pass the gate.

They are not long, the days of wine and roses:

Out of a misty dream

Our path emerges for a while, then closes

Within a dream.

Believe! Hope!

As always, love from me to you!