What was that? Time flying!

I can't believe it has been two weeks or more since I wrote you. That is what happens when you have to do nothing - you do nothing! I came out here primarily to write and this is the first time in weeks (except for constant e-mail) that I have made time to put some thoughts out there.

Well, thanks to modern medicine and prayer, I celebrated 62 years of age last Tuesday. My first thoughts that day were "Thank you, God, for letting me be here to see 62!" It feels good to be 62 I tell you!

I had a good report from MSKCC on Wednesday and will see them again on August 28 for a routine CT scan.

If you have not been following "Sween in the Bean" take a look at it as Kate has some great photos of Agnes on it. Joe has also added some video time to "Notes from a Long Island" which are great.

It is good to be in Hampton Bays today (and yesterday) as the heat is oppressive and does cause some difficult breathing for me. I am happy to be here in our little condo because I can put the a/c on low and stay cool and breath easier.

I feel pretty good most days but am still very fatigued - and it is a different type of tiredness. It is total exhaustion at certain points of the day. What MSKCC recommended was to drink Gatorade and it has helped some which was a big surprise. Some of the flavors taste like medicine but I do like the Fruit Punch and Mango and Orange.

My hair seems to be returning - snow white - the hair that did not fall out is dark brown and some folks ask if I was "touching it up." It is so strange to look in the mirror and see the brown hair. I will be happy when my white or silver hair returns. The other strange thing is that my hair is covered with very tight curls. It is amazing how strange it feels to have such changes in my hair. But, I am happy with however it is. At least I am here to watch and feel the changes!

Your prayers have been so good for me I'd like to add a few friends who have had some issues this week - Dolores, George, and Dan. All with various illnesses that could use the boost of a healing prayer.

Believe! Hope!

As always, love from me to you!

Promises Kept - to Myself

Well, I did it. I spent an entire week out here in Sweeney's East, our little 600 sq. ft. of Paradise. Of course it rained almost every day, 2 days it did not rain. The humidity and mold spores are so high that instead of sitting poolside, I am inside in the a/c. I am having a tough time breathing today even though I have used the inhalers as directed.

Enough complaining.

I am delighted to announce that I am hooked up to the internet at long last our here. I thought I would go mad last summer without my computer. Joe gave me his laptop and I thought I would be able to access WIFI but that is not as easy as one is led to believe when they tell you it is free with Optimum. You have to live within the areas it is avaialble. Rather than struggle, I called Optimum and had the good old internet put in as well as a phone. Now I am on the triple plan here as well as home. However, they assured me I could turn everything down for the winter. Carol asked how much this would cost for the winter and I did not have the answer as I never thought to ask! Regardless of what it is, I will pay it. Jack brought me out the surge srip today so I will be a little more comfortable once I get everything plugged in properly. Right now I have quite a conglomeration of electric lines strung out in the living room but it worked for the week.

I have been mostly alone which is what I needed to get some thoughts in order. I never thought I would enjoy alone time and could never understand those who liked to be alone but the older I get, the more I appreciate my own company - and eating, sleeping, drinking, not eating, not sleeping, watching tv, not drinking - whenever I want without having to be considerate of someone else. Would I want this all the time? Nah. But it is refreshing to do for a period of timee. Tomorrow I will return to Glen Head for a week and then back out here for a long weekend. Then a second visit to MSKCC (one this Wed.) on Aug 5 and the back out here for the remainder of the summer.

The hardest thing for me this week was missing that little rascal, Agnes! Last night she spoke to me on the phone for about five minutes non stop. I had no idea of what she was saying but enjoyed every nuance of her voice. She must have had an exciting day!

This is the longest typing I have done on this laptop so I hope there are not too many mistakes.

Believe! Hope!

As always, love from me to you!

New Fangled Inventions

Joe arranged for me to get a keyboard and mouse for a laptop that he no longer uses so that i can continue corresponding when I am out in the Hamptons. I am practicing on it right now. I had to get a keyboard because my fingers are too fat and type too fast for the stanedard laptop keyboard. This works great right now.

Agnes and I have had a common ailment this week - ear infections and coughs. My also came with a sore throat and sinus infection. I think we are both on the road to mend although the humidity kicked in today and that does not make my brreathing any easier. I will be happy to be out east from tomorrow night until the following Sunday. With the ocean not very far away, the humidity doesn't seem as thick and if it does, the little condo has an airconditioner!

I have to spend the week of the 27 here for various reasons and then I will head back out, hopefully, for the rest of August. Kate says she is coming down for our birthday week at the beginning of August so that will be fun as she is coming during the week when I am out there by myself.

So, if I don't post as often, think of me lounging pool side or sitting in a comfortable chair in the a/c thinking of you all.

Believe! Hope!

As always, love from me to you.

Joy in the Morning

It was with happy thoughts that I awoke this morning! Ain't life grand? I could hear Agnes' footsteps rushing up and down the hall and thinking how much I was going to miss her when Karen and Joe move to their own house. Hopefully, I'll wean myself a little by going out east for the rest of the summer except for MSKCC days.

Every day I learn something new.....I am not in REMISSION as that term is used for other types of cancers, I am in GREAT RESPONSE which is better, I suppose, than GREAT REPOSE.

Sematics!

I forgot to tell you that Dr. Lung O recommended that I drink Gatorade to help balance my electrolytes and that it would probably help me combat some of the fatigue. Even though I am in remission, I will still be taking the chemo and it does drag me down quite a bit. I swallowed some of the swill this morning and wonder if it is worth it? Jack got me lemonade which is usually my favorite flavor in anything but this tasted like salty lemon juice! I may move on to the cherry flavor.

I am putting forth some of my photos from our family vacation. They can't compare with Kate and Joe's but the area is a little different. Mine are from our visit to Hacienda Barbara, a beautiful home of friends of ours. Jack and I enjoyed a lovely afternoon and were so happy to see this magnificent place. Our friends have had it for many years and we always yearned to see it. It was worth the wait. What a glorious place! Of course, I may have to sneak in a photo of Agnes Rose that Joe took with my camera before vacation.

Believe! Hope!

As always, love from me to you!

Prayer, Hope and Miracle Pills

Just returned from my follow up visit to MSKCC. I am overjoyed to tell you that that small malignancies that were growing in my right lung have shriveled up and disappeared. One could say I was IN REMISSION!

It was just about a year ago that I was starting to feel awful again. Hopefully, those days are past - now I am just dealing with fatigue and some intestinal issues and a gentle amount of hair loss. My journey seems to be heading toward recovery thanks to the miracles of modern medicine and the miracles of good, old fashioned hope, belief and prayer. When I take my chemo pills first thing in the morning, sometimes before the sun rises, I bless myself with holy water from Lourdes and pray for all afflicted with chronic illnesses.

Thanks to all of you who have been by my side mentally and/or physically. We will always have this to contend with but isn't it wonderful to be able to see that there still is time unfolding before us? A gift of time to appreciate all the gifts that are ours to enjoy and a time to tell those we love simply that.

Believe! Hope!

Miracles are happening every day!

As always, love from me to you!

Return from Paradise

Back from our family vacation in Punta Cana, Dominican Republic and I'm happy to say, we had a great time. The weather was perfect and the Paradisus Reserve was a great place to stay with Agnes. It was interesting to me to discover the this is considered off season in the Caribbean. I was thinking it was too early for hurricane season but it is not - so, finally, our hurricane on vacation streak may be over!

Yesterday I had a CT scan at MSKCC and tomorrow we go in for all the clinical stuff - and find out the results of the CT scan. I am always a little apprehensive at this point but I make every effort to place it in God's Hands. Takes the worry off me if I know I can't control the situation!

Got to see John Sullivan at Eileen and Jim's on Sunday. He was in from California for a few days. He looks great and is such a fantastic guy. He keeps us howling with laughter about his escapades in LA. It is a little like Mr. Smith Goes to Washington - John Sullivan Goes to LA.

I have been extremely tired since we came back from vacation so I will make this short. Just wanted to let you know that you are in my thoughts.

If you would like to see fabulous photos of the trip, click on Sween in the Bean (to your right) and then read Kate's post of today. Click on the link she provides and you will see some lovely photos.

Meanwhile,

Believe! Hope!

As always, love from me to you!

Farrah Fawcett

I felt sad to hear of the passing of Farrah Fawcett today. I hope she slipped away peacefully without a lot of pain. I don't usually get emotional about public figures but she was diagnosed at the same time as I was 3 years ago and her age and mine are the same. I can't help but ask myself why her and not me? I know it is not my time but it does make me think of my own mortality.

Most days just pass without a whole lot of deep thinking on the subject of cancer. It is usually on the back burner and jumps to the front fairly often but I feel it is under control and I am in the best possible care at MSKCC. And, I have the faith and determination that it is not going to get me - at least not for a long time. After all, I am enjoying being a Nana too much!

She has inspired me with her grace and courage. May she rest in peace. And may her family find peace.

Meanwhile, I continue with my mantra

Believe! Hope!

As always, love from me to you!