I felt sad to hear of the passing of Farrah Fawcett today. I hope she slipped away peacefully without a lot of pain. I don't usually get emotional about public figures but she was diagnosed at the same time as I was 3 years ago and her age and mine are the same. I can't help but ask myself why her and not me? I know it is not my time but it does make me think of my own mortality.
Most days just pass without a whole lot of deep thinking on the subject of cancer. It is usually on the back burner and jumps to the front fairly often but I feel it is under control and I am in the best possible care at MSKCC. And, I have the faith and determination that it is not going to get me - at least not for a long time. After all, I am enjoying being a Nana too much!
She has inspired me with her grace and courage. May she rest in peace. And may her family find peace.
Meanwhile, I continue with my mantra
Believe! Hope!
As always, love from me to you!
June 25, 2009
June 16, 2009
Notes from a Long Island
Please note that the former "A Family Grows in Brooklyn" has changed its name to "Notes from a Long Island." The beautifully written text and brilliant photographs will continue under this new title.
Karen, Joe and Agnes Rose have moved in with us temporarily while they search for a house on Long Island. We are happy to have them with us which is a little selfish as I know in some ways they are missing the conveniences of Brooklyn. Joe and Agnes go out exploring and have found the library, the Sea Cliff playground, where the sidewalk really ends, Memorial Park and the quaint village center of Sea Cliff. For their sakes, I hope they find a house while the prices and interest rates are lower than usual.
I had planned to go out to the condo for a few days this week but the weather has been really awful and the temptation to have lunch with the local Crones tomorrow was too much to resist! We haven't gotten together in a few months and once the summer begins, it becomes even more difficult.
Joanne, Tom and their children will be arriving next week for a night or two. It will be great fun to spend some time with them and I hope the weather clears so we can sit out on the deck, kick back and put a dent in some of Jack's wine!
We will be taking a vacation to the Dominican Republic at some point this summer to celebrate our anniversary but for the sake of my fear of burglaries, I will tell you about it when we return.
After all the rain this past few weeks, I am looking forward to some summer sun and dare I say, heat? I, who have always been too hot, find that I am chilled most of the time now. I guess that is the chemo.
Believe! Hope!
As always, love from me to you!
Karen, Joe and Agnes Rose have moved in with us temporarily while they search for a house on Long Island. We are happy to have them with us which is a little selfish as I know in some ways they are missing the conveniences of Brooklyn. Joe and Agnes go out exploring and have found the library, the Sea Cliff playground, where the sidewalk really ends, Memorial Park and the quaint village center of Sea Cliff. For their sakes, I hope they find a house while the prices and interest rates are lower than usual.
I had planned to go out to the condo for a few days this week but the weather has been really awful and the temptation to have lunch with the local Crones tomorrow was too much to resist! We haven't gotten together in a few months and once the summer begins, it becomes even more difficult.
Joanne, Tom and their children will be arriving next week for a night or two. It will be great fun to spend some time with them and I hope the weather clears so we can sit out on the deck, kick back and put a dent in some of Jack's wine!
We will be taking a vacation to the Dominican Republic at some point this summer to celebrate our anniversary but for the sake of my fear of burglaries, I will tell you about it when we return.
After all the rain this past few weeks, I am looking forward to some summer sun and dare I say, heat? I, who have always been too hot, find that I am chilled most of the time now. I guess that is the chemo.
Believe! Hope!
As always, love from me to you!
June 14, 2009
In my Heart
Jack and I went to a lovely family wedding in Connecticut yesterday. It was an overcast day and the wedding was outside overlooking the Connecticut River - beautiful spot. As the bride walked down the grassy slope toward her groom, the sun came out in all its glory. It was an amazing moment. I felt it boded well for this young couple.
I guess I am honored that some of our Joyce cousins were upset that I don't write more blogs. It is really nice to know that I have such a loyal fan base! I tried to explain that I don't want this blog to turn into a daily list of what I did and did not do. If I have something that I think is interesting or noteworthy, then I quickly turn to put it into writing. I am half Italian and have enough guilt so I am refusing to feel guilty that I don't write more often.
Today is the farewell party for my beloved St. Ann's School in Flushing, NY. Virginia and I were in the first second grade there when it opened and Eileen was in the third. This is when we became friends. Our lives revolved around that school and church. As we grew older, we held dances and hootenanny's and as we grew older still we chaperoned the dances. The stage holds our footprints from the many shows - from Irish nights to Christmas pageants to fabulous Broadway shows directed by Eileen - shows like Oliver, Oklahoma, Hello Dolly, Fiddler on the Roof - I've lost track. Jump rope and roller skating on the blacktop; flirting with the boys in the school yard forgetting that the nuns lived on the top floor of the school and did not miss a thing! Jumbled memories keep flooding back. People who gave us so much - Henry and Dorothy Forbes, Ben and Kay Wardach, Mr. & Mrs. McKenna, Father Stafford, Mr. & Mrs. Colavito, the Birnbaums, the list could go on and on. Music makers, costume makers, teachers, scout leaders, counselors......those who held us as precious gifts and helped us grow into the people we are.
When Jack and I married 40 years ago, the church was under construction and we even got married in the school auditorium! Probably the only ones in the history of the building! (I wasn't too happy with that arrangement as it was very last minute.)
Eileen and Virginia both called to encourage me to attend this final salute but I just could not face it. I blamed exhaustion from the wedding yesterday (which is a great part of it) but if I am going to be honest with you, I'm not ready to let go.
At the wedding yesterday, there was a quote from ee cummings which I think applies to my feelings about St. Ann's.
I guess I am honored that some of our Joyce cousins were upset that I don't write more blogs. It is really nice to know that I have such a loyal fan base! I tried to explain that I don't want this blog to turn into a daily list of what I did and did not do. If I have something that I think is interesting or noteworthy, then I quickly turn to put it into writing. I am half Italian and have enough guilt so I am refusing to feel guilty that I don't write more often.
Today is the farewell party for my beloved St. Ann's School in Flushing, NY. Virginia and I were in the first second grade there when it opened and Eileen was in the third. This is when we became friends. Our lives revolved around that school and church. As we grew older, we held dances and hootenanny's and as we grew older still we chaperoned the dances. The stage holds our footprints from the many shows - from Irish nights to Christmas pageants to fabulous Broadway shows directed by Eileen - shows like Oliver, Oklahoma, Hello Dolly, Fiddler on the Roof - I've lost track. Jump rope and roller skating on the blacktop; flirting with the boys in the school yard forgetting that the nuns lived on the top floor of the school and did not miss a thing! Jumbled memories keep flooding back. People who gave us so much - Henry and Dorothy Forbes, Ben and Kay Wardach, Mr. & Mrs. McKenna, Father Stafford, Mr. & Mrs. Colavito, the Birnbaums, the list could go on and on. Music makers, costume makers, teachers, scout leaders, counselors......those who held us as precious gifts and helped us grow into the people we are.
When Jack and I married 40 years ago, the church was under construction and we even got married in the school auditorium! Probably the only ones in the history of the building! (I wasn't too happy with that arrangement as it was very last minute.)
Eileen and Virginia both called to encourage me to attend this final salute but I just could not face it. I blamed exhaustion from the wedding yesterday (which is a great part of it) but if I am going to be honest with you, I'm not ready to let go.
At the wedding yesterday, there was a quote from ee cummings which I think applies to my feelings about St. Ann's.
here is the deepest secret nobody knows (here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud and the sky of the sky of a tree called life; which grows higher than the soul can hope or mind can hide) and this is the wonder that's keeping the stars apart i carry your heart (i carry it in my heart) - ee cummings
Believe! Hope!
As always, love from me to you!
June 09, 2009
Here I Am!
I am shocked to see that my last entry was for Memorial Day but I guess that was not too long ago.
Karen, Joe and Agnes Rose have moved in with us for a time until they find a house for themselves. Of course, Jack and I are enjoying our time with Agnes Rose and I am ever grateful for all the help Joe gives me with cooking and cleaning up! For instance, last night, after a long, very long day at MSKCC, I was exhausted and went straight into bed. I had a loin of pork ready to be put in the oven but Joe asked if he could jazz it up. Of course! He stuffed it with wonderful things including wild rice, cream cheese, apricots, prunes, walnuts. The scent alone pulled me out of my doldrums.
Ahhh....the doldrums and what caused them.....
Seemed to me like my hair has been falling out in clumps for the past month. Karen said it was just the season; I needed a higher dose of my thyroid medication; we all had some reason so we would not have to voice the real reason out loud. My hair is falling out from the Miracle Pill.
Ironically, both BP and Dr. Lung O walked in and said that my hair had gotten darker - well, ha, the hair that is falling out is all my silver hair. I asked them if my hair was falling out due to the chemo and they said several other clinical trial patients have reported the same thing. Hey, we are on an experimental medication that is shrinking our tumors so what's a little hair loss. That's what I said, but it really wasn't what I was thinking at the moment. It is funny to look at myself and see my hair turning dark brown again but I'm one of the few people who embraced my silver hair - I loved it. It was shiny and different and had come in without causing the rest of my hair to be "mousy." Now I have skinny dark brown hair where there used to be really thick silver curls.
Once I decided to leave my cave yesterday, floating on the scents coming from the kitchen, I realized that I'd rather have no hair above the ground than flowing locks under it. I will accept this new adventure on the journey and rejoice that I am still able to laugh and sing with Agnes Rose. I firmly believe we are never sent more than we can carry.
I'm looking forward to our family vacation to celebrate our 40 wedding anniversary. Surf, sun and sand.....and good books, food and a vodka or two. Ahhhh! Life is good.
Believe! Hope!
As always, love from me to you!
Karen, Joe and Agnes Rose have moved in with us for a time until they find a house for themselves. Of course, Jack and I are enjoying our time with Agnes Rose and I am ever grateful for all the help Joe gives me with cooking and cleaning up! For instance, last night, after a long, very long day at MSKCC, I was exhausted and went straight into bed. I had a loin of pork ready to be put in the oven but Joe asked if he could jazz it up. Of course! He stuffed it with wonderful things including wild rice, cream cheese, apricots, prunes, walnuts. The scent alone pulled me out of my doldrums.
Ahhh....the doldrums and what caused them.....
Seemed to me like my hair has been falling out in clumps for the past month. Karen said it was just the season; I needed a higher dose of my thyroid medication; we all had some reason so we would not have to voice the real reason out loud. My hair is falling out from the Miracle Pill.
Ironically, both BP and Dr. Lung O walked in and said that my hair had gotten darker - well, ha, the hair that is falling out is all my silver hair. I asked them if my hair was falling out due to the chemo and they said several other clinical trial patients have reported the same thing. Hey, we are on an experimental medication that is shrinking our tumors so what's a little hair loss. That's what I said, but it really wasn't what I was thinking at the moment. It is funny to look at myself and see my hair turning dark brown again but I'm one of the few people who embraced my silver hair - I loved it. It was shiny and different and had come in without causing the rest of my hair to be "mousy." Now I have skinny dark brown hair where there used to be really thick silver curls.
Once I decided to leave my cave yesterday, floating on the scents coming from the kitchen, I realized that I'd rather have no hair above the ground than flowing locks under it. I will accept this new adventure on the journey and rejoice that I am still able to laugh and sing with Agnes Rose. I firmly believe we are never sent more than we can carry.
I'm looking forward to our family vacation to celebrate our 40 wedding anniversary. Surf, sun and sand.....and good books, food and a vodka or two. Ahhhh! Life is good.
Believe! Hope!
As always, love from me to you!
May 23, 2009
Memorial Day
Sorry to you all who have been missing my blogs for a few weeks but I have been under the weather with a sinus, throat, chest etc. infection - as so many of you also were. Unfortunately, I was prescribed Levaquin and after two days, could not lift my arms for the pain in my muscles. This happened the last time I took this medication but I did not associate the two. It was weeks before my shoulders and arms were "back to normal." This time I realized that it was the Levaquin and called the doctor who put me on good old Z-pak. Now it is one more medication that I cannot take! Anyway, yesterday there was a big yahoo about Levaquin on the radio so I looked it up and sure enough it can cause tendonitis. http://www.lawyersandsettlements.com/case/levaquin?ref=levaquin_overture&OVRAW=levaquin&OVKEY=levaquin&OVMTC=standard&OVADID=36524140011&OVKWID=254339421011
Apparently there is a lawsuit in the works according to the above link but it will inform you of the dangers of taking this antibiotic. I am in considerable pain while typing this so it will be short.
Of course, I have many pet peeves. This is my pet peeve of the week. Why do we say "Happy Memorial Day?" Do we say "Happy Good Friday?" or "Happy Yom Kipur?" This day, Memorial Day, is a day for reflection on those brave men and women who gave their lives so that we could continue to live in a free country. Today is a day for remembering and giving thanks to all those men and women who are still sacrificing to keep us safe and a day to honor all those men and women who have served and protected us throughout the years. So, I ask you today, while you are praying for me, to stop a moment and say a prayer for those who have gone to their eternal glory and for those who are fighting the good fight today. God bless them all and keep them safe.
That's all folks!
As always, love from me to you!
May 11, 2009
Rejoice and Be Glad
Just returned home from MSKCC with good news! My latest CAT scan shows the tumors in the lung are shrinking and getting so small, they are almost hard to see on the scan. The doctors are delighted and so are we! Jack got a copy of the radiology report and shared it with an acquaintance of his who is a retired Chief of Radiology and he read it over and said it was an EXCELLENT report! ...... Still unable to put in a new paragraph on this blog which is making me crazy but bear with me. ...... Thank you all for your prayers and support. Keep up the prayers. ...... Believe! Hope! As always, love from me to you!
May 10, 2009
Happy Mother's Day!
Happy Mother's Day to all of you, women and men, who have been like mothers to me over the past few months (years) since the cancer was diagnosed. Your kindness, your consideration, your prayers and just knowing that you were only a phone call away on a "down" day, makes all the difference. I include my beautiful girls, Karen and Kate as well as sweet hearted Joe in this special thank you. Jack has been my champion, sitting at endless appointments, driving into the city, keeping me calm while I know he wasn't feeling as calm as he appeared. The Crones and those who are still in their prime whose phone calls and e-mails and lunches and dinners have picked me up, made me laugh and let me cry. There is nothing like feeling protected in the love of a mother - and you have all tenderly woven that blanket around me. I feel great at the moment, a little tired from the day's activities, but good tired. We went to 10:15 mass and I got to see all those beautiful people who are so supportive from church and ran into some neighbors I have not seen in many years. It was a joy to introduce Agnes Rose to them - they were quite taken that she was Karen's daughter. They sang one of my favorite hymns today but we were running a little late and I missed most of it - gee whiz, you'd think they'd wait for me to arrive before beginning the service! Agnes was not particularly impressed with the service today and kept Karen and Joe very busy. I just enjoyed watching Agnes behave the way Karen and Kate did at her age and know that I wasn't responsible for chasing after her! Children are children and l learned a long time ago from a wise priest that this is how children pray - doing what God intends them to do at their age. Sorry there are no paragraphs today but for some reason this blog won't let me put in any spaces. We went to see my mother today and it was a terribly sad experience that I won't dwell on except to ask your prayers that God soon shows her mercy and takes her to a more peaceful place. I can't let this day go without remarking that my father would have been 98 years old today. Tomorrow I get the results of Friday's CAT scan. I am hoping for good news - or at least stable news - but am anxious non the less. I must remember our mantra Believe! Hope! As always, love from me to you!
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