Return from Sabbatical

Here I ran off on a sabbatical from writing my blog  and I didn’t even know I was going to go!  Actually, I spent the summer in our little slice of heaven out east hiding from the heat and humidity.  I rarely left our unit except to go into MSKCC for my scheduled check ups;  grocery shopping every few weeks with Crone Marie who was good enough to drive down island to pick me up for shopping and we would pick up lunch.  One wonderful day, Crone Janice joined us and we did all go out for lunch sans grocery shopping.  On a few cool evenings, when the humidity lifted, you could find me on the deck or downstairs with the Ferriers for a few laughs and some good food.  Jack and the gang came out for long weekends.  But I digress.

What actually happened was that I found myself the opportunity to spend some alone time contemplating my life, where it had been, where it was and where it was going.   It was a quiet time of self reflection which, in my constant seeking companionship and entertainment, I always managed to escape.  Guess what?  I enjoyed my own company!  This was such a surprise to me – it has brought a great sense of peace and contentment and I’m sure has made life a little easier for Jack and my good, close friends who have had to put up with my needy ways for so long.  I had to revisit the child in myself and let her learn to love herself and accept herself and not seek constant approval or worry so much about what others might be thinking.  I enjoyed meeting her and spending time exchanging thoughts and feelings.  I learned to enjoy solitude.  It has given me a feeling of freedom.  I am so thankful that I had this time to myself.

Health wise, I am doing well.  I did start to see a new Endocrinologist at MSKCC and she changed a lot of my medications.  We are still working on the right combo but my glucose is coming under control.  So far so good in the cancer department.   I had my latest CT scan the other day and will get the results on Monday.  I am always apprehensive but que sera sera.  It is in God’s Hands.

My darling grandies are growing quickly.  Agnes started nursery school and loves it.  She also has begun tap and ballet which she also enjoys.  Bernadette will be one year old on December 11.  She is a merry, cheerful baby with a real twinkle in her eyes.  Both girls have Jack and I wrapped around their little fingers! First day of school holding Mama’s photo from her first week of nursery school.

Bernadette checking out the wind at Shinnecock Canal the day after Earl blew through.  This photo is a few months old.

So, happily, life goes on.   My true friends and loved ones encouraged my introspection and rejoice in the change in me because it was best for me.  They understood my need to spend time alone and to spend time in a controlled climate during the heat of the summer.  A few folk were hurt and insulted by my tending to my own needs and that was unavoidable and sad but it certainly helped to clarify relationships.  I have grown stronger emotionally and physically.  I am surrounded by loving family and friends who accept me, warts and all!

My plan is to continue writing my thoughts in this blog.  Hope you will join me on the rest of the journey.

As always, love from me to you!