Mom passed peacefully on February 29 at 10:30 in the morning. Jack and I had not gotten there yet but we had spent the day before saying all the things we should have said throughout her lifetime. She was a good mother even though, as an only child, we butted heads more than once. I always felt our ways were very different but as I hit my mid-sixties and have gained a little of the wisdom she tried to impart to me, I realize we were pretty much alike. Our greatest difference was Mom was a quiet person who enjoyed being alone or only with close family. I, on the other hand, fancy myself a raconteur, a spinner of tales and laughter and good times with friends, family - perfect strangers; Jack says I would strike up a conversation with an empty chair if left alone long enough. Last week, for example, Jack and I were at MSKCC on Monday. Jack went downstairs to pick up my medication and left me reading in the waiting room of my doctor's. When he returned about 20 minutes later, I was deeply involved in a conversation with a gentleman and his wife. In 20 minutes, I knew where they grew up, that he had lung cancer surgery 3 weeks before; the type of business he was in; where they lived in Connecticut; where he cooked in his brother's restaurant; what type of treatment he was receiving ..... well, you get the picture. I can't help myself. My mother and I would go to Sunday mass and by the time we got out of church and to the car, the next mass had begun. Every Sunday she would mutter not particularly happily, "You're like the mayor."
Mom had a good send off and I owe a debt of gratitude to my cousins, Frank (Sonny) and Eileen and their wonderful family. It is too bad we only see each other during the rough times. Our lifetime friends, Virginia, Eileen, Dorothy and their families were, as always, standing at our sides - our strength in all situations. Our wonderful neighbors, friends from work....Mom would have been very surprised to see so many come to pay their respects to her.
Mom looked incredibly beautiful. Considering how she had deteriorated in the past few years, it was as if God Himself gave her this gift of radiance one more time for us all to remember her as she always was. Mom had her rosary beads in her hands but we exchanged them for a NY Yankee cap for the burial. I'm sure she would rather we keep the beads and say them!
Joe helped pick out the readings and the music for the mass. Virginia and Eileen did the readings; Joe the Prayer of the Faithful. Karen wrote a beautiful Words of Remembrance and read it before the mass began with Kate standing with her for moral support. Jack and I were very proud of our daughters and I am sure Mom was smiling down from heaven listening closely to make sure Karen mentioned the NY Yankees!
Mom's major gift to us was her faith which sustained her to the end. Even as her dementia increased to the point where she did not recognize any of us, she would still pray and make the Sign of the Cross. May she and all the souls of the faithful departed rest in peace.
Believe!
As always, love from me to you!
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